Ability to become aware of your own awareness level

One of the best skills you can develop is the ability to become aware of your own awareness level. Then as you encounter people through your day, see if you can identify their awareness levels too. When you interact with people, notice the size of the awareness gap between you, and compare it to the effectiveness of your communication. Is your communication deep and meaningful, is it merely superficial fluff that’s soon forgotten, or is it high-friction head butting?

As you gain the ability to identify awareness levels, your communication effectiveness with other people will increase dramatically, at least on a one-on-one basis. With groups of people, effective communication is always more of a challenge because you must target the average awareness level of the group at first and hope to pick up others along the way.

Don’t waste time butting heads as soon as you realize the awareness gap is the culprit. If you’re the high awareness person, drop your awareness down to collect the other person, and then slowly raise him/her up to a higher level. And if you’re the low awareness person, inform the other person your awareness level is too low to have a meaningful exchange, and ask for his/her help, or simply postpone the conversation to another time.

For example, if I’m emotionally exhausted and my wife wants to discuss her day with me, I may tell her my awareness level is too low to listen. In that situation she knows that if she wants to have the conversation she intended, she needs to stop and help me raise my energy first. She might give me some space to relax, or she might offer me a massage to help me let go of any tension quickly. Once my awareness level has rebounded, I’m usually able to listen attentively.

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