How to bridge the gap of awareness

Even when the awareness gap is very wide, it can still be bridged if meaningful communication is desired. In order for this to happen, both people must move to a similar level of awareness. The most effective way for this to work is that the higher awareness person temporarily lowers their energy to the other person’s level and then gradually leads him/her back up to a middle ground.

For example, suppose you feel very peaceful and happy (high awareness), and your partner comes to you upset and starts yelling at you angrily (low awareness). Little communication will occur in this situation because the gap is too great. You may choose to remain in a state of peace and ignore your partner’s temper tantrum, but another option is to lower your energy down to his/her level and start yelling right back, even if you have to fake your anger at first. Then as you both work through this anger, you can gradually raise your energy back up again and bring your partner along with you. Once you reach an acceptable level of awareness that feels comfortable to both of you, real communication can occur — a meaningful exchange of information that isn’t merely about the awareness gap itself.

This process works, but it can be very time consuming and unpredictable. If you’re the higher awareness person, you’ll need sufficient leverage on the lower awareness person (so they don’t simply give up and leave the room) as well as plenty of patience to work through their initial defensiveness. Face to face communication is almost a necessity. It might work over the phone too, but it would be really hard to do it via email.

I think of this as the process of resonance. If I want to help someone raise their level of awareness, first I must resonate with them, so we’re both vibrating at the same frequency, so to speak. Then if I change my own frequency gradually enough, the other person will come along for the ride.

This is how impactful human communication works, although you may not have been aware of it. If you’ve ever seen a talented motivational speaker in action, you may notice they often begin speaking at the audience’s level of awareness — a fairly mild opening is common, But once they’ve built rapport with you (i.e. awareness compatibility), they can lead you on an awareness rollercoaster as long as their shifts are gradual enough. A common situation is to take an audience that’s at the level of neutrality and lead them to the next level up, which is willingness. This is what great sales trainers often do. Whether or not that new level of awareness sticks is a whole other matter; usually the boost is only temporary.

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