How to broadcast your desires
Do you hide your true desires from the world?
Do you pretend you want one thing while silently desiring something else?
For example, do you desire a new lover or playmate while giving potential partners the impression that youíd like to date them first?
Do you want to be earning a lot more money while broadcasting that youíre satisfied with your current career?
Are you making your true desires abundantly clear, or are you holding them inside while broadcasting an entirely different message to the world? Are you engaging in false advertising, either by broadcasting a false desire or by failing to broadcast your true desire?
Consequences of broadcasting your desires
Donít just write down a list of goals for yourself. Share your key goals with others. Let your friends and associates know what you desire to manifest or achieve, especially for desires that may come to you through your social circle.
You can expect certain logical consequences.
First, some of your friends will be supportive of your new direction. They may offer suggestions, resources, or other assistance to help you get there. If you keep quiet about your goals, they canít help you. But if you speak up, you give them the opportunity to help you move forward. And of course when your friends tell you about their goals, you can do your best to assist and encourage them as well.
On the other hand, some of your friends will respond with neutrality. Perhaps they donít care about your new direction, or they simply canít help you with it. This is not a problem. Itís just a situation to be accepted.
And most likely some of the people in your life will reject your new direction. For whatever reason they wonít be able to accept it. They may react with sarcasm, criticism, or other forms of non-support. This is actually beneficial to you because these people are revealing that their presence in your social circle is incongruent with your new direction, so now you know where youíll need to make some cuts. It doesnít matter if theyíre friends or family members ó theyíre making it clear that they canít accept your new direction and that theyíre unwilling to support you on this journey. Itís generally a waste of time to try to convince them, so donít get clingy. Simply let go, and drop the unnecessary drag on your forward momentum. Say to such people, ďI understand that you canít accept my new direction, but Iím doing this anyway, so if youíre going to oppose me in this, then Iím going to have to drop you from my life. Either you learn to accept this part of me, or weíll have to each go our separate ways and let go with love, okay?Ē
A personal example
Several weeks ago I began expressing that I wanted to explore domination-submission as an alternative relationship model. I wanted to explore the dominant side with a woman who wanted to explore the submissive side.
As you might expect, some people in my life were supportive and encouraging of this decision, some were opposed to it, and many were neutral or simply curious to see what unfolded. From the first group, I received a lot of support, advice, and encouragement (which continues to this day). I was surprised to see how many people fell into that group. As for the second group, I really didnít see any serious criticism except from random people who donít even know me, so I didnít lose any friends over it. (Actually I seemed to make more friends because of it.) But most people apparently belonged to the third group, curious to see what would happen but fairly open-minded.
In terms of what happened specifically, a woman quickly came into my life who wanted to explore the submissive side of a D/s connection. Her name is Jane . She and I had met briefly at the first Conscious Growth Workshop in October 2010, but we didnít get the chance to say more than a few words to each other back then. After I started expressing interest in D/s on Facebook in December, she got in touch with me to ask some questions about it. One thing led to another, and shortly thereafter I invited her to play together, and she agreed.
Since then Jane and I have been having an amazing time together. We spent a couple weeks together in January.
From the beginning we did a lot of D/s play, which was very fun for both of us. However, within a week it became clear that our connection was becoming much deeper, and we ended up totally falling in love with each other. Itís hard to label our connection at this point, but boyfriend-girlfriend is close. Beyond that we might have to shrug our shoulders.
We continue to enjoy D/s role-playing, although itís not something we do all the time. D/s is a form of play that we still both enjoy (sexual and otherwise). We easily slip in and out of those roles when the mood strikes, but lately weíve been spending more time exploring other aspects of our connection.
We canít really say where our connection is headed, but a bit of mystery just makes it all the more fun and helps us fully embrace the present moment. Itís fair to say that if I hadnít been willing to broadcast what I was interested in exploring, and if Jane hadnít made clear her interest to me, then we might never have connected in this way. It would have been sad for us to miss out on such an amazing connection together ó and for what? Fear of being judged by invisible critics?
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